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sometimes what we wish for
is beyond our reach..
thats why they are called wishes...
but i believe that
life is full of hopes
i have to hold on to them
so that i can move on
the road ahead is a long one
have faith, you.
her name is aslin.
she prefers the quiet way of life.
she is simple with simple dreams
and she is very much contented with her life..
| milkshake is back! he is back! so cool! haha... |
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 |
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he suprised me yesterday by turning up at macdonalds early in the morning. you see, i was at macdonalds as usual every saturday morning. need to wait for my sis to finish her religious class. i messaged him in the morning saying im already there, telling him to go home and get some sleep before meeting me at 6 in the evening. he didnt reply and i thought he must still be busy in camp. after about 5 minutes he suddenly appeared right in fromt of me! what a pleasant surprise. he looked so tired and sleepy. he said its ok, he just wanted to see me in the morning. he waited till my sister finished her class and then went home. so sweet of him then he said i will see you again later at 6. he so tired but still he came straight from work. so sweet lah konon nye...hehe.
so i had a good start to the day. in the afternoon, went to giant with my parents and sister for the annual monthly grocery shopping. as usual imm was packed. before shopping for the groceries, we went to eat at bagus. our first visit there and i kinda like the design of the place. eat steamboat and im so full lah. later still meeting him. haha. so ya, after eating then started shopping. ouh, i bought a black top! hehe. and also a polo tee. i like them both. haha. the colour of the polo tee is different. its blue with lime green stripes. and i also bought canvas shoes! white based with orange spots! haha...i think its so cute lah... anyway, at 6 went to meet him. he wanted to eat kfc. taiwan no kfc. haha. and we heard that macdonalds milkshake is back! but only at certain outlets. the nearest was at jurong east entertainment centre. so off we went there. bought the chocolate flavoured one. so yummy. haha. $2.2o. expensive of cheap? haha. i also dunno but what i know is im going to buy it again. haha..
ok, today is sunday. which means my self-introdutcion speech in chinese is tomorrow!!! argh!!! see, now then want to panic. haha. no lah.. im fine. got my speech ready (sort of lah eh...) just need to memorise them. will be able to do it. just do it lah. hehe. so fun ye so nerve-wrecking. i just hope i wont pronounce them wrongly. haha... and i started typing my deviance already. ok, so its just one 200 words. still have 1800 words to go. haha... can one. when the mood comes, the ideas will flow and it will finish. now the mood is coming back so its a good sign. hehe... well, its really back to the books for now...  cute right? im crazy...yep.
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| her teardrops...2:10 PM |
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| Friday, February 24, 2006 |
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i had such a good day yesterday... spent the day with him. he was talking non-stop. from the time he met me under my block to the time he sent me home... haha. when he is not here, it was so quiet now that he is back, he is like everywhere... hehe. im not complaining though. im just so amazed at how much he can talk. hehe...
he bought for me a bag and a hp strap from taiwan... so nice of him. but pity him too lah. i told him not to spend so much money. things there also expensive. oh well, dah dpt tu senyum ajer lah kan... hehe... the bag is orange in colour! im not suprised... hehe. he knows me well... and the more i look at it, i think its cute lah. hehe... and the hp strap is also orange but its leather like that. actually i dunno what material it is lah...hehe. anyway, it has our names on it. cool right? hehe...
anyway, today i went to school to hand in my sw individual assignment. and i was smiling the whole time. everyone can see it. and they were like, "he's back right?"... haha. so obvious ah the smile? hehe. no lah... im just happy he is back safely. thats all that matters...
ok, so let's get real now. calling miss aslin back to earth!!! so, i still have one deviance research, sw group project, soci assignment and a jap project. thats like 4 things ah!!! so many. and the deadlines are so close together... and i have a chinese oral self-presentation this coming monday! i have to talk in chinese.. how bad can it be right? haha... very bad. well, just hope everything will be fine... well, its going to be a busy month! just hope eveything will be fine and i will pull through. haha. |
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| her teardrops...9:55 PM |
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| he is back!!! im so relieved!!! |
| Wednesday, February 22, 2006 |
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he's back!!!!!!!!!! oh yesh, he's back!!!!!! can u see my wide smile??? haha...
i just got home from the airport. well, i decided to pick him up last minute lah... when i saw him, i felt so relieved. you know like so so so damn relief...
i guess i was worried that he might shrink or fall sick or i dunno what lah eh... but seeing him just now makes me so happy. he still look pretty much the same before he went off for taiwan... in the car, he was telling us all the funny things that happened to him and his friends in taiwan. im so glad he's back here safely. although he said he might have to go overseas again in 3 months time, im just happy and relieved for now that he is back. if he has to go again, haiz... sad but i dun want to think about it. just be happy for now. hehe...
will be meeting him tomorrow. dunno where we are going but one thing is for sure, we will be talking and talking... catch up on what has happened and all. im so relieved. yep. relieved. |
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| her teardrops...12:33 PM |
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| Sunday, February 19, 2006 |
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just got back from johor. went for dinner with my family. its been a long time since we went for dinner at johor. i feel sorry seeing my dad. he like cannot walk properly. hope he will get better. there was a long jam man at the causeway. we were stuck for 1 and a half hour. tired waiting. my brother started to sing and making noises... so merepek lah...
im quite happy today. i managed to fininsh my sw assignment. just need to print it out and hand it in. so now im left with my deviance research. still have 2 and a half weeks before the deadline. but i will try to do whenever the idea and urge comes. been reading alot abt my topic. so should be ok. just need to sit down, sort it and type it.
syg messaged me agian. 5 times! he says he will be back on wednesday morning. i think i wont be picking him up since his parents will be there. and i think he would want to rest too... so i will meet him another time. well, have been waiting for the past 15 days, so whats another 3 days right? hehe... i think he like thinking merepek already. i hope he will be alright once he is back. well, im not going anywhere...its not as if thee are other guys going after me. haha.
im getting sleepy already. so will get some sleep. no school tomorrow cos of the mid term break. just 4 days though... whats the point right? haha. never mind. im going to school on tuesday to study anyway. staying at home will only make me wander and think merepek stuff so might as well go school, study and hang out with caca and the rest... hehe. ok then... |
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| her teardrops...11:57 PM |
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| Saturday, February 18, 2006 |
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my manchester united lost seh... i so sad. i guess liverpool got their revenge for last month's defeat. but it was an exciting game right through the end. well, in games like these, there has to be a loser and a winner. and the winner today is liverpool. congrats to them. at least they are not as irritating as arsenal and chelsea...hehe. im sad lah man u lost but what to do...
dad is back home. his tests went ok. so everything is fine and back to normal. just a minor scare. glad that nothing negative happen. he is still the same. stubborn as ever and its killing me ah. haha. he wants that then he dont want. i also dunno what he want ah... haha.
syg messaged me 5 times today. i think he going crazy. tell him not to message but still he messaged. but then again if he dont message later i worried pulak...haha. fickle minded me. he said he going to be arrive in singapore wednesday morning. dunno if i should go and pick him up or not. i think im not going lah. let him go home and get some rest first. he will be tired anyway.
i think he misses me so much that he is going crazy. thats what he said. well, still have 4 more days. hold on. haiz, its less then 3 weeks and already both of us going crazy. i wonder how long distance relationships works out man. i think they have so much courage and trust in each other. im in awe of them. i trust him too and i know he trusts me too but to be apart from each other for a long period like more then 6 months would be hard. this one 3 weeks only like making us go nuts... so hats off to u people in long distance relationships...
today i started to really sit down and type out my sw assignment. and i took 3 hours to write 5 pages! so long seh... when the ideas dissappear, it really dissappears... and when it comes, it really comes. so funny lah the mind... i still have 5 days to the deadline. im confident i can finish it soon. once its done, i will do my deviance research plak. im not panicking. i have my contents already. i just need to sort them out and type it. should be ok. i just have to take all in my stride. will be fine. |
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| her teardrops...11:18 PM |
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| Friday, February 17, 2006 |
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dad got admitted to the hospital. got a shock in the morning when my mum called to tell me. i have no idea what is wrong with him. after ika finished school i headed down to the hospital to see dad. hhhmmm....he doesnt look sick at all! haha. and he still is so stubborn eventhough he is sick. dads will be dads i guess. he insisted on eating but the doctor wouldnt allow him too as he has to go for tests tomorrow morning... i hope its nothing serious and that whatever it is, it will go away...
i was damn bored in the hospital and i ended up taking pictures to amuse myself... haha
 look...i have a big mouth!!! hahahahaha.... 
im so small compared to bid taz here... btw, i think im becoming much more chubbier and that im getting fat! oh no... see, when bf not here, the sadness and all makes me eat and eat and eat and eat... well, im sure he wouldnt mind as he keeps on wanting me to put on weight... i cannot afford to put on weight seh..later my clothes wouldnt fit! but then again, it will give me an excuse to buy more clothes! haha... im wondering if im laughing because im happy or because im sad. get what i mean? nvm. everything will be fine. my dad will be fine and he will be back soon. i will be fine. you will be fine. everything will be just fine. |
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| her teardrops...11:35 PM |
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| Thursday, February 16, 2006 |
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today i finally received his v day card. i thought he sent the card from taiwan. haha. but actually this bf of mine asked his sister to post it to me. eventhough its 2 days late, its the thought that counts... at least i know he is still thinking of me and that he misses me. sometimes you just want to see it and feel it. singapore or taiwan, he is still here like he said.
he also messaged me yesterday and just now. i worried seh his hp bill will bomb. but i guess love is priceless. im more important then money. hehe. he said he cannot take it already. well, we still have to persevere. 6 more days and he will be back and we will be able to meet then.
its been 12 days. it seems long evenhough its actually short. am i making sense? lets put it this way, when im occupied with my studies, time seems to pass by fast but when night comes and im on the bed, trying to get some sleep, time stands still. but i will be fine. in fact i think im doing pretty ok. yes, i do go into my sad moments but i will snap out of it... hehe.
will be waiting for him to come back... |
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| her teardrops...10:43 PM |
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| Tuesday, February 14, 2006 |
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so its valentine's day...
whats the big deal about it?
some say its becoming commercialized...
true. i do agree but i also feel that it has a special meaning.
ya. you know like you tell someone that you love them and all that sweet nothings...
some say everyday can be valentine day. its not just on that day you show your love. can show their love each and everyday so dont need to celebrate it. i agree that everyday can be valentines day but think of it these way, when you say too much does it lose the special meaning? like you say for the sake of saying but not because you mean it...
i would love to hear those three words from him everyday but ya, i cant expect him to tell me that every single minute and everyday. once in a while it will be nice. anyway, its just you know those things that girls like to hear...
and flowers, chocalates and presents and so on... who doesnt like right? and is it a waste of money? i dont think so. treat it as a gift of love. and if we were to treat everyday like valentine day then i think we will be bankrupt. haha. some say we should not celebrate it cos its against our religion. maybe its true. thats why when i say happy valentine day, its more like just that special day. nothing more then that...
anyway, i miss him terribly yesterday night. dunno lah eh if its the vday mood or what. i wasnt expecting him to message me or wish me but ya lah, it will be nice if he does. hehe. he did lah. so sweet of him. he messaged me in the morning to wish me so i had a good start to the day. and in school, the whole walkway was like filled with heart shaped balloons and almost every girl was holding flowers and presents...haha. and yours truly got a flower too from win... haha. so sweet of her. thanks win... ok, its a HER not a HIM. im still faithful and waiting for my bf to come back. and i miss him seh. 7 more days and he will be back. i will be counting down the days man... haha. see you soon syg. |
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| her teardrops...9:57 PM |
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| Sunday, February 12, 2006 |
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just got back from doing my sw project and japanese project. so tiring but it went well. met the sw peeps at 1pm and we sort of finish our agenda by 2plus. so 1 and a half hours not bad right? haha. went to discuss the questions for the survey and also to look for a suitable neighbourhood.
its been a long time since i went to woodlands... it feels kinda funny going back there. but well, i didnt run into anyone that i dont wish to meet so quite happy about that. after discussing for the sw project, me and win hit the library for books about geisha. managed to find 2 miserable books. haha... sort of finish our outline. haha. sort of only. after that we headed to the shopping centre intending to buy v day presents. but there was nothing suitable. then met twin and we all had a great time talking and gossiping. haha...girls right?
i took 187 to go home. and you know lah, im a bus person. it was a 50 minutes ride. pretty long but i dont mind. on the bus my mind wandered and i miss him lah. wonder how he is. he said its cold. well, i just hope he is fine and doing well. 10 more days before he is back...yep. it will come. |
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| her teardrops...9:00 PM |
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| Friday, February 10, 2006 |
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went to school today eventhough i had no classes. i must be crazy to go school when i have nothing right? well, since i have lots of assignments and research to do, i decided to do some stuff. at least get a head start and then i wont be rushing too much. anyway, i had consultation with my tutor about my deviance research. and it elped i guess. at least im more focused now... and i also went to get some books for my sw assignment... so you see, i have been busy doing with school. its a good way to stop my mind from wandering about.
and i feel happy too cos he messaged me again. he said he's fine but he has to go outfield for the next 7 days and that it will be very cold. kesian seh. he also asked me what i wanted. i said i dun want anything, i just want him back safely. am i sweet or what? haha.... but i really want him to be back here safely. he also said he misses me. hehe. so sweet of him. i miss him too. i forgot to ask him if he will still messaged me anytime during the next 7 days. i think he cant cos he's going outfield. well, its ok. as long as he's fine everything will be fine too.
my mind is officially tired. tired of thinking about my school stuff. so i will stop awhile. tomorrow if i have the mood or the lightbulb appears, then i will continue. for now i want to rest and do my own stuff. so till then... |
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| her teardrops...11:10 PM |
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| Thursday, February 09, 2006 |
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the assignments are piling up and so are the projects... so not looking forward. and im starting to be stressed. haha... but i will be fine. so i was in school today and i was looking for books and cracking my brains over my deviance project. and i tried to multi-task. yep. TRIED. haha... i tried to find information for my sw assignment too. obviously i failed. haha... damn tired but somehow i feel pretty ok.
hhhmmm.... i think im just throwing all my concentration on my research and assignments. so that i wont miss or think of him too much. well, its the only way right? it seems pretty long. him not being here and all but im happy that 5 days have passed and im doing pretty ok. the eyes still hurts. not from crying ok. i didnt cry. i think not enough sleep. haha. thinking of my deviance and sw projects...
and i actually realised that the duration he is not here seems short when i think of my deadlines! haha.... and i have less 2 weeks to hand in my sw assignment and 1 month away from my deviance deadline... oh gosh. and the japanese research too and another of the sw project! haha... busy but i kinda like it at least to a certain extent. well, for one, i dun think of him too much and secondly i learn new stuff. haha...
but all this is making my head spinning. im wondering if i will make it through. haha. of course i will. i have to right? no choice. so i will. yes, i will. |
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| her teardrops...10:50 PM |
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| Tuesday, February 07, 2006 |
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im so tired. had a long day in school. 8 hours straight, no breaks. hungry and sleepy. had to endure the hunger and the sleepiness. but i will be fine cos tomorrow i have no school and can rest well at home... my last class for the day was my deviance lecture. as usual it is packed with information and i was like writing furiously...haha... on the way home, met irwani, my primary school friend. its been a long time since i met her. had a good time talking to her and catching up on things.
im kind of happy now actually. because he messaged me... hehe. i miss him seh. and i felt even worse just now morning cos i really miss him. but i was able to focus on my lectures if not 100% at least 70%. well, better then nothing right? hehe... i was feeling down. the suddenly my hp beeped. u see, my hp was quiet and when it beeped, i didnt expect it to be him. its quite expensive to send sms. but the sms really make me smile and i feel so relieved. he said he is fine but the weather is cold there. pity him. and he also said that he miss me... hehe. so u can see my big smile now? hehe.
so that sms will keep me company for the rest of the days he's not here... im smiling to sleep today i guess. hehe... |
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| her teardrops...10:30 PM |
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| Sunday, February 05, 2006 |
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ok. day one. first day he is off. hhmmm... my handphone is quiet. feels weird but it'll be fine. he messaged me at 2.35am saying he has reached taiwan and that its very cold there. im glad he is there safely but the weather thing makes me worried a bit. but i guess he will be fine cos he has his winter jacket and all.
i managed to sleep. i think i was tired from the tears. so i guess i will be fine. i woke up and busied myself. did the housework and ironed the clothes. managed to read some of my notes for tomorrow's lesson. going to school will help ease the mind i guess.
im pretty ok. i think the realisation that he is not here hasn't hit me yet... or maybe it did but im just pretending everything is the same. i guess i will just have to take each day at a time and hope time will pass by quickly. i can do this. its only 3 weeks. he'll back soon and everything will be back to normal.
its 5.30pm now. when night comes then it will be weird. weird not being able to message him. i hope i can sleep. and i think the only way for me to get some sleep is to tire myself out. when im tired it will be easier to fall asleep. im pretty tired now actually.
the mind is very funny. its like i kow its there but its not there. what am i writing? i have no idea. but if u get what i mean. ya...its like that. |
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| her teardrops...5:41 PM |
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| Saturday, February 04, 2006 |
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its 8.35 am. i have just sent my sister for her violin class. now im at macdonalds. just ate hotcakes but seems like i cant finish it...well, still have time before i go off to pick her up. so will try to finish it...didnt have a good sleep yesterday and i guess you all know why. kept on tossing and turning. got into bed at midnight but the last time i checked the time it was 4am. so i guess i fell asleep at that time and before i knew it, i was woken up. got to send my sister to school... haiz...
hmmm... i had a good day with him yesterday. went to catch a movie. fun with dick and jane. hmmm...not really interesting. comedy but it doesnt seem to be logic to me. well, almost all comedies are nonscence anyway... went to many places yesterday with him. feels so short the time with him. maybe its because we both knew we wouldnt be seeing each other for the next 3 weeks...
when we parted ways, he told me to take care of myself and to wait for him. he said he will be back in 3 weeks and promised me it would just be a short trip... hmmm... i hope it will be a short 3 weeks too. i actually have no idea how it will be like.
in 14 hours time, he'll be on the plane to taiwan. will be sending him off with his parents later on. and i guess that will be the last time i get to see him before he comes back. i will be counting the days. i know i know and i know. its only 3 weeks. i have this feeling that it will be weird and strange not hearing his voice. calling each other will cost a bomb. but he said he will try to call me whenever he can but i told him, its ok. the hp bill will explode and thats the last thing i want.
the heart really feels heavy. i wouldnt cry. well, at least i will try my very best. he said to me, dont show to him that im sad. it will be hard for him to leave. i understand. i wouldnt want him to go with a heavy heart either. i can only hope and pray for his safe return. i will keep myself occupied. it cant be that bad right? i have my books and assignments. so i guess i will be fine. told him to concentrate on his work and dont try to be a hero down there. just finish his work and get back here safely. and that's all that matters.
have a safe trip dear. |
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| her teardrops...8:51 AM |
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| Thursday, February 02, 2006 |
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im now in lt11. having my japanese lecture. but i cant seem to be able to concentrate. go figure...that explains why im writing this entry. win is doing chinese. haha. so ya, we are both not concentrating. very bad of us. haiz...well, there is webcast lecture. so we can go through it again later on.
if i did not have a tutorial later on, i dont think i will come to school today seh. just not in the mood. im really dreading the days. he msged me just now saying that he will be going off on saturday. thats like the day after tomorrow... was supposed to meet him later after school but he had to visit his bapak angkat. so cant meet him. its ok. i'll be meeting him tomorrow. spend the whole day with him before he goes off on saturday.
feel so shitty. i think i will need some time to get used to not hearing his voice or receiving his messages for the next 3 weeks. i know. everyone keeps on telling me its only 3 weeks. but 3 weeks matters you know. its not only 3 weeks. cant anyone understand how i feel? haiz...ya, its 3 weeks. i will get used to it. i dun want to be seen as a weakling but its really hard. once i get used, i think i will be fine. well, i hope i will be fine. guess i'll just focus on my studies. yep. my friends will keep me occupied...
i dont want to show him that im sad. but i am. haha. tears in diversity. ok, i think im becoming crazy pulak. i will be fine k. a note to the army: i will let you borrow him from me but bring him back safely to me in 3 weeks time k. and i will be happy again. thank you... |
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| her teardrops...10:38 AM |
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| books. i love them. certain kind though. haha... |
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 |
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no mood to write these days...maybe its the dread that he is going off. i think i am such a weakling. haha. 3 weeks only yet cannot take it. but i will be fine. of course i will. kejam kelip dah pun 3 minggu kan. so no worries.. so what's up these days?
30th january 2006
holiday. their holiday. so why are they not going visiting or something? why are they flocking to the shopping centres when they should be visiting their relatives or 'swimming'? haiz...went to giant for the monthly grocery shopping. and i thought there wouldn't be much people cos they will be visiting but to my surprise they are the one lining up buying things? why give them holidays when they are not spending it well. of course lah, they have their right to celbrate it but it seems to defeat the purpose. nevermind, its a free world. anyway, my famliy still got what we wanted....
31st january 2006
holiday again. their holiday. so why are they not out visiting?! went to suntec with him to catch a movie. and guess what? there were no more tickets and ya, i know its a holiday so its going to be crowded but how can it be?! they are suppose to be visiting, spending time visiting their relatives! i just dont get it, they have 2 days. if it was us having 2 days we will be like so happy going visiting. haiz. so what did we do? we ended up going all the way back to clementi to catch the movie. and yep, u guessed it the theater was full with them. maybe they see it as a family outing eh. ok lah, can also. at least still spending time with their family. well, happy chinese new year. hehe. anyway, i had a great day with him. just spend time talking. we seem to talk a lot these days. maybe because later we will not be able to talk as much as now...
today
woke up early. i had my first deviance tutorial. one of my favourite module this semester and i was glad the tutorial went out well. made some new friends. and went to the library after that to get some books for my deviance project. was planning to do on mixed marriages but there were not much information so i decided to change my topic to suicide. i have always been intriuged by suicide. the suicidal mind. what actually is going on in their mind.... so will get on with the topic and hopefully, i will be able to do a good job on it. the assignments are piling... damn. but good also, can spend the time while he is away to good use. keep myself occupied and all will be fine. books. i love reading actually. but of course, it must be interesting. some of the coursepack are quite interesting. but i prefer reading the hardcore kind of textbooks...
hmmm...tomorrow have school too. japanese lecture and social research tutorial. i hope this tutorial goes well like my deviance one. the lecture was boring and chances are the tutorial will be boring too but im hoping. hehe. and i will be meeting him again tomorrow. yep. meet him. yesh. meet him. haha... |
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| her teardrops...7:40 PM |
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