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sometimes what we wish for
is beyond our reach..
thats why they are called wishes...
but i believe that
life is full of hopes
i have to hold on to them
so that i can move on
the road ahead is a long one
have faith, you.
her name is aslin.
she prefers the quiet way of life.
she is simple with simple dreams
and she is very much contented with her life..
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went to imm after school with caca to find twin's present. found it and went back home to decorate it. looks cacat but i dunno seh. i was never the artist or creative one but i know i did my best. haha. just hope she will like it. anyway, while looking for her present me and caca started to play around with the stuff there. had lots of fun trying the masks on. takde kerja kan. haha.. see what stress do to you...
 evil? haha... scary? haha...
 nice wig! haha...
 pirates of carribean? more like cacat pirate! haha...
anyway, i have this one soci assignment that im going crazy doing. its like horrible to the max and i have absolutely no idea on how to do it. deadline is 8 days away... time is really running out but chill, im fine. everything is fine. i just need to sit down and really think about it. never say never. you can do it! will go to school tomorrow to do it. spend time on it and hopefully finish half of it! haha...
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| her teardrops...11:56 PM |
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| i wish i know what my heart says. |
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i wish i could just drop everything and just be free...
i wish i could fly...
i wish i could touch the stars...
i wish i could touch my heart and do what it says...
i wish i know what my heart says...
is it possible?
what does my heart says?
what does your heart says? |
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| her teardrops...10:48 PM |
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| siti, i lup you!!! hahaha... |
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so yesterday i went to anugerah planet musik... and it was so so fun. i had a good time. the music was great but apart from that it was bad. i was unhappy about certain things that happen throughout the show...
i felt that the show was becoming a 'kutuk siti show'. so mean of them to tease her around. tak baik seh. ya lah, its ok to disturb her once i awhile but not throughout the show lah. give that girl a break. she has feelings too you know. so maybe we dun like her choice of guy but that doesnt mean she has to listen to us what. and we are not even sure if the guy is datuk k. so dun go around making fun of her lah. kesian seh. we should appreciate her talent not her love life. yes, we are curious to know. i also curious but dun make it into a joke lah. i really pity her. ya, im a fan of her. and i like her so maybe you guys think im being biased but i think its only right that we respect one another. i also dun like it if its really datuk k that she wants to be with but its her life afterall. we should be happy for her.
no matter what siti, i will stand by you. eventhough datuk k is the one and i dont quite understand why, i will still support you. as long as you are happy and that is what that matters... i sound like a true siti fan right?! haha...
then ah there was this makcik kepoh ah. like super kepoh ah. she was like so the kepoh that i dunno what to say... haha. well, apart from the siti thingy it was quite a great night. had fun talking, screaming and laughing with my cousins about the singers. rossa and sharifah zarina like damn pretty lah. and of course my siti is the most beautiful one lah k. haha.
by the way there was no red carpet ah and im so unhappy ah. i want to take pictures of the singers ah. my siti ah. damn no red carpet. and i end up taking pictures from the big screen. haha. but ok lah i still did enjoy the show.
ok, enough about apm. i think i shall just dream about meeting siti in my dreams. haha. eh, i have seen her live a lot of times but it was always she on the stage an i somewhere down there. haha. who knows one day i might actually be friends with her? haha. dream on aslin! ya, dream on... |
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| her teardrops...8:38 PM |
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im in the school library. typing my notes. exams are coming seh. less then a month. still haven hit me that its coming. time flies so fast. i feel like it was just yesterday that i step into nus, just yesterday that i started school all over again. before i knew it, its already the 2nd semester of my year 1. and the semester is coming to an end. see, its so fast right.
sometimes i wish time will just stand still. but its impossible lah. every minute pass by and we have to spend it wisely. i hope i have lived my life to the fullest. i want to be happy and i want the peope around me to be happy. life is short so spend it well.
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| her teardrops...3:35 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 |
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have you watched Notting Hill? the one where Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant acted in? it's one pf my all time favourite movie. there is a sentence that Julia says to Hugh and i really like it cos i feel for her when she says it.
I AM JUST A GIRL STANDING INFRONT OF A BOY ASKING HIM TO LOVE HER
all we want is for a guy to love us and we wonder if its that hard. love is a big word and we often use it so much that we forget the true meaning of it. everyone has their own definition of love and i have my own too. an unpleasant thing happened to me about 2 years ago. i will not grow into great detail. but it made me learn a lot of things. and it made me realise that everything happens for a reason and i dont regret what i have done in the past cos i think it help me grow as a person.
he told me that he hope he can give me what i wanted. he asked if he can be that boy. and i said im already giving you that chance and its up to you to take it. when he brought it up, i was remembered of what happen and what i wrote and what i wanted.
so have i got what i wanted? and is he that boy? |
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| her teardrops...11:20 PM |
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 i have joined the army!!! hahaha...
have been dead tired the past few days but i had fun. the days passed so quickly. so what have i been up too? a lot actually. haha...
lets start from friday. had a super long day in school. project meeting and doing my part of the project and doing my chinese which is still not finished! haha. on saturday i had a friendly hockey match. enjoyed myself tremendously. best giler ah. so long didnt run. stamina dropped and i was so tired! haha. in the evening went to meet syg. watched date movie. quite a merepek movie. there were funny parts. haha. yesterday went to johor with my family. syg went along. we had lots of fun. shopped and went to eat at our usual place. glad that syg enjoyed going out with my family. and i took photos of myself kidding around with helmets... haha. so i didnt join the army. no worries k. haha...
so here i am now. just now syg fetched me from school. got caught in the rain. it seems that whenever he fetched me from school, it will rained. haha. its nice of him though. his day off but still fetched me. have to continue memorising my chinese characters seh. what a bother...tu ah, pandai sangat kan amik cina. amik kau ubat. haha. ok lah, will stop here. |
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| her teardrops...9:05 PM |
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im in the school library now. and i have finished my deviance research! at last its finally done. well, have to hand it in tomorrow. im kinda tired and my right leg hurts. cant walk properly. its a bit cacat. i fell yesterday while playing hockey yesterday. im a bit worried cos i have a hockey match this saturday morning... and i really want to play...but then again, i think i will still play. haha. degil per.but ok lah, will see how. if i can run, thats it ah...im playing for sure! haha...
kinda feeling relieved as i finished my deviance research already. so its 1 paper down, 3 more to go... one at a time and im sure it will all be done... ok, will stop here. got to continue with my other papers... |
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| her teardrops...3:30 PM |
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13th March 2006
a day i wouldnt forget.
i saw it. it came and it hurts me. it hurts to see and it hurts to feel. never knew that i could do that. never knew he could. im still in shock and im still thinking. i guess it will always be on my mind. it was there that i realized even a strong person would be in that position. but im glad he did and im glad i saw it.
i finally understand. and i was right all along. |
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| her teardrops...11:45 PM |
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| go through it together, not alone... |
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had a good day yesterday. went to watch big momma with syg. so funny the movie. i am big momma. everyone calls me big momma. haha... had a long talk with syg. we never really got tired of talking. everythings great, everythings fine.
he'll be off to tekong for 13 days. so looks like wont be meeting him for the next 13 days. funny right. first to taiwan, now to tekong. well, at least tekong is nearer then taiwan and he will still be able to message me like normal. should be thankful for that... furthermore, im kinda used to it mah. if can endure for 18 days, whats 13 days right? haha...well, the army is really taking him away from me...which brings me to this point.
some people say having a relationship while your guy is in ns will be tough and most of them end up in broken into pieces... well, its true but not all. i know some people who stick by their guys while they are in ns. and im living proof of that. haha. but i realise that i know how the girls feel while their guys are serving the nation. the loneliness and boredom do creep in. but that does not mean it is an excse for the girls to find other guys. and as for the guys, they are often tired and has no wish to meet the girlfriends. but if you really love your girl, spending some time wit your girls wont hurt right? its a two way thing i feel. you need both hands to clap. the girl has to be understanding and not demand so much from the guy. and the guy should not take the girl for granted. so what really is the real deal?
i guess, if you guys really love each other, your relationship should withstand it. its only ns, u see. maybe when you are both working, it will all be another different thing. life is full of challenges and these challenges will make the relationship even stronger. you should be thankful enough that you have found someone. if he's not worth it, then time will prove it.
so i have come to this conclusion, kalau hati dah kata sayang, yang buruk pun akan menjadi indah... (if the heart says its love, the bad will be wonderful...) so go through it together, not alone... |
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| her teardrops...1:15 PM |
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went for japanese lecture today but didnt stay till the end. infact me and win went out after just 30 minutes. i guess our mind wasnt there. we were physically there but mentally somewhere else... i guess we were both occupied by other things. been thinking a lot these days. maybe its the deadlines. maybe its something else. but im fine. no worries...
i ran straight into a litter bin in the library in school. was talking to my friend and i crashed into a litter bin! hurt my hand in the process and it left me with a red patch on my hand... pain seh... haiz...well, whats new? i always run into something... whatever lah eh...
THE LITTER BIN anyway, i started writing my deviance research already. im on track i guess. still have some more to go but i will be able to finish it on time. my parents fetched me today. they wanted to visit my uncle in hospital. he's fine which is great. after that my mum wanted to go to the library to borrow some books. took the opportunity to find some books on geisha for my japanese project... found 2. going to read it when i have the time...
im thinking of the dream i had. i dont know why what happened in the dream happened. i wasnt thinking about it but hhmmm.... maybe its true. i have actually been thinking about it. just that i didnt realise i was thinking about it. IT. i guess i will leave it at IT for now... |
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| her teardrops...11:35 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 |
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been busy and tired these days... i cant think of anything else except my bed. haha. the deadlines are all coming but the ideas are not!!! still have about 8 more days before my deviance headline. in between that, i have to do my sw project. so hectic. wish i could rest. even in my sleep i am dreaming about my research... what's happening man...
and i had 2 bad dreams yesterday night. yes, 2! i think i too tired, forget to wash my hands and feet. see, naughty me. the bad dreams better dont come true seh...
i wish the ideas will come now. time is running out. please let it come... |
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| her teardrops...5:35 PM |
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| to recover from excessive hair loss, she went shopping. she is now broke but she feels better. so much better. but of course her pockets are burnt and has a big hole. looks like she's going to be damn broke. but she is smiling... haha. |
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| her teardrops...11:20 PM |
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| im suffering from depression. due to excessive hair loss... will take about 1 month to recover. |
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| her teardrops...6:54 PM |
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| its too short for my liking... haiz... |
| Wednesday, March 01, 2006 |
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so i went for a haircut... and im feeling so sad. its so short. i like the hairstyle but its just too short. now, i look like some punk girl. and i look mean and fierce...haiz...what to do. the hair is already gone. well, its a new change. but still im sad. its just short lah and im not used to it... i will be fine. the hair will grow i guess... haha...
damn, its short... haiz... |
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| her teardrops...11:36 PM |
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| them and us, we are equals |
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im so tired. really tired. been busy with school... so many deadlines so little time. so the deadline fot the deviance research is extended to 17th. but does it really matter? still need to finish it... so what have i been up to these days? been going to school and meeting him. so nice of him to pick me up from school... will meet him again later today to go for my appointment with the hairstylist. yep, im going for a haircut. yippee... well, hope it will turn out well. will post a picture of it if i can...
so yesterday, i learned an important lesson. was out doing survey with my friend. we needed to talk to these budak2 melayu who hang round wasting their time under the blocks and parks. it was an eye opener for me... see, i have always had this bad impression of them. from the tv documentaries and what people say and how i see them, i have always thought they are kids who have nothing better to do and wasting their time. but seeing them and talking to them on my own for the first time made me realise that they are not bad as what i had thought them to be.
i was scared at first to approach them. they were in big numbers and they had tattoos all over their body, they were smoking and drinking and making noises and all. i was intimidated. after all, there were just me and my friend. 2 of us, girls, interviewing them all. some were reluctant to talk to us. some lied to us saying they did not live there. some refuse to even say anything. but there were some who opened up themselves and even talked to us. from their views and their lives, i realise that they are actually good kids. its just that they went wrong somewhere in their lives. people look down on them. well, i did. but when i talk to them they are harmless, its just a way of expressing themselves. im not saying that what they are doing is good. of course they shouldnt be smoking drinking and making a nuisance. but my point is, if we can help them, why not right? im sorry that i had such a bad impression of them. first impression i guess does matter.
we need to help them. we need to get them back on the right track back. some of us are just lucky we have good parents and people care for us. im lucky that my parents are here for me, that they gave me a good education. but nothing beats seeing all these with your own eyes. the textbooks doesnt give you the real picture. you really need to open up your eyes and see the world, see the real thing. that we need to face reality and get out of our comfort zone.
yes, we can help them. but i guess, they need to help themselves too. its the individual and the environment. there is always this perception that, 'ouh my life sucks. people dont want to help me'. yes, you can blame the people but if you help yourself then maybe you can make a difference. you have the responsibility of your own life. the environment and the individual needs to work hand in hand and we have to accept each and everyone. we are equals. as bad as they are, no one is born bad. somewhere, somehow, it just went wrong... |
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| her teardrops...12:45 PM |
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