my open tears

sometimes what we wish for
is beyond our reach..
thats why they are called wishes...
but i believe that
life is full of hopes
i have to hold on to them
so that i can move on
the road ahead is a long one

have faith, you.

them and us, we are equals

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

im so tired. really tired. been busy with school... so many deadlines so little time. so the deadline fot the deviance research is extended to 17th. but does it really matter? still need to finish it... so what have i been up to these days? been going to school and meeting him. so nice of him to pick me up from school... will meet him again later today to go for my appointment with the hairstylist. yep, im going for a haircut. yippee... well, hope it will turn out well. will post a picture of it if i can...

so yesterday, i learned an important lesson. was out doing survey with my friend. we needed to talk to these budak2 melayu who hang round wasting their time under the blocks and parks. it was an eye opener for me... see, i have always had this bad impression of them. from the tv documentaries and what people say and how i see them, i have always thought they are kids who have nothing better to do and wasting their time. but seeing them and talking to them on my own for the first time made me realise that they are not bad as what i had thought them to be.

i was scared at first to approach them. they were in big numbers and they had tattoos all over their body, they were smoking and drinking and making noises and all. i was intimidated. after all, there were just me and my friend. 2 of us, girls, interviewing them all. some were reluctant to talk to us. some lied to us saying they did not live there. some refuse to even say anything. but there were some who opened up themselves and even talked to us. from their views and their lives, i realise that they are actually good kids. its just that they went wrong somewhere in their lives. people look down on them. well, i did. but when i talk to them they are harmless, its just a way of expressing themselves. im not saying that what they are doing is good. of course they shouldnt be smoking drinking and making a nuisance. but my point is, if we can help them, why not right? im sorry that i had such a bad impression of them. first impression i guess does matter.

we need to help them. we need to get them back on the right track back. some of us are just lucky we have good parents and people care for us. im lucky that my parents are here for me, that they gave me a good education. but nothing beats seeing all these with your own eyes. the textbooks doesnt give you the real picture. you really need to open up your eyes and see the world, see the real thing. that we need to face reality and get out of our comfort zone.

yes, we can help them. but i guess, they need to help themselves too. its the individual and the environment. there is always this perception that, 'ouh my life sucks. people dont want to help me'. yes, you can blame the people but if you help yourself then maybe you can make a difference. you have the responsibility of your own life. the environment and the individual needs to work hand in hand and we have to accept each and everyone. we are equals. as bad as they are, no one is born bad. somewhere, somehow, it just went wrong...

her teardrops...12:45 PM