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sometimes what we wish for
is beyond our reach..
thats why they are called wishes...
but i believe that
life is full of hopes
i have to hold on to them
so that i can move on
the road ahead is a long one
have faith, you.
her name is aslin.
she prefers the quiet way of life.
she is simple with simple dreams
and she is very much contented with her life..
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ok, let's have a bit of update here...
on monday, syg and me went to catch the da vinci code at the new cathay... the movie was great and so was the place... haha. it's rare that syg have an off on a weekday so we decided to watch a movie and visit the cathay. i wanted to see how big and posh the place was. haha. its a monday and there shouldnt be many people right? but there was... lucky we reached there early to get the best seats. haha. after watching the movie we went to beach road. syg missed the chicken rice. so we had a good meal and left there at about 4plus. and we had to head back home cos he will have to be back in camp that night. the day went well and i had a great time. hehe. first visit to cathay and it was great...
yesterday, i went to work. yep, i worked! haha. i dont know if working once or twice a week is considered work... haha. ya, so i was suppose to sit at the counter and exchange the passes with the ics. so ok lah,its not that bad. there were some difficulties. hey, its my first day! haha. so ya, there were a lot of irritating mats. haha. they were like making small talk. ok, i appreciate it but im like busy and not really that interested. haha. and yesh, they think im 17, 18 years old...haha. i am very much flattered as always... i guess its better to look young right? haha. it was tiring eventhough i just sit there... haha. but its a 12 hour shift. so i keep on looking at the clock. haha. wondering when it will be 7pm so i can go back home...haha.
so ya, its been a first to the cathay and the first at work. well, im going to surf the net and play some games...hey, its still my holidays. haha... |
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| her teardrops...11:30 AM |
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so today was d-day. we lost... haha. got trashed 3-0. but considering that our opponents were club players, i think its not that bad. they practically swept my leg seh. lucky not broken. haha. i was like, chill ah. its only a friendly competition. i know lah got prizes to be won but hey, its suppose to be a fun competition not a rough for all you know. and its street soccer not rugby. but i must say, they are really good while we are a bunch of merepek girls playing soccer. haha... well, i still had fun. haha...
after playing, i had to rush to go for syg's sister bbq. and i was like damn tired. with a swollen leg. haha. it went well. had fun. didnt manage to have a good talk but i think we are meeting again on monday so we shall have a good talk i suppose...
and yep, i got my exam results... haha. hmmm...didnt do as badly as i expected. infact, i improve by 0.05. haha. im contented with my results. haha. i did my best and i finally got that damn A. haha...ok, so its A-. but still A right? haha... |
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| her teardrops...10:35 PM |
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you're making a big fuss...
is it really nothing? is that what you thought? am i wrong in wanting to talk it out? was i really making a big fuss? i dun understand. i really dont. didnt you think of why? am i always the one making things big? but isnt it because i want to clear it up?
everything also my fault...
did i say that it was yours? have i ever blamed you? why must you say that? if i wanted to blame you, i would have said it outright. i would not beat behind the bush. i just wanted to discuss it, not blame you. if you are sensitive, im sensitive too. why must it always be about pleasing you?
i force myself to go as i want to support you...
you force yourself? will i be happy to see you knowing that you force yourself? didnt you know by saying that i will be more sad? is it really that tough?
i suddenly feel that its so hard. its really hard. why is it so much now? i raised up my voice. you raised up your voice too. why so much now? why? why? why? |
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| her teardrops...7:45 PM |
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today i went back to school to give a talk to the current batch of year 3s. it was suppose to be a motivating talk and i wonder if i did enough to motivate them...
i still remember, 2 years ago, i was one of them. sitting there, scared and feeling so stressed up over the upcoming exams. i can really understand what they are feeling and going through. it wasnt easy. i know. as i gave the talk and look at their faces, the past came flooding back.
and then i saw him. to my suprise, he actually smiled and nod at me. i dont know if that is called acknowledging or what. i wasnt expecting him to even do anything. i thought he would probably still pretend that i am invisible. as i looked at him, it only reaffirms that my life now doesnt have a room for him. he once occupied that place but he chose to leave. yes, there were happy times and he will always have the bragging rights that he was the first. and i guess he will remain as the first and thats it. he has moved on and i have moved on. our lives are now very much different and we have a whole different path to walk.
will our paths cross again? even if it does, what purpose will it serve? the reason. i have always wanted to know the reason. why? but till today, 2 and a half years passed, i still dont know why. but, i sort of lived with it and eventhough now and then i wonder why, i know that deep down i no longer need him.
right now, i am very much contented and happy with my current state of life. i have a wonderful family, great friends and a loving boyfriend. when i was down in the pits due to him, my family and friends stood by me. they gave me the courage to move on. i no longer blame him or question why. instead i accept the fact that me and him were never meant to be. but i never gave up on love. i believe that we come in pairs and there is that special someone out there. and i will keep on believing in love. as miserable and pain it can bring, it will also bring wonders and joy. right now i am happy with syg. he made me realise that there is someone who can and will still love me. no one knows if he is really the one but no one says he isnt either. what matters most is happiness. and as long as i am happy and the love is still there, it will continue... |
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| her teardrops...11:44 PM |
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have not been blogging these past 4 days... been busy playing soccer and spending time with my family. its been great. the competition is 5 days away and the adrenaline rush is coming... haha.
anyway, yesterday went to the MI carnival. met my teachers and visit the stalls. there were so many people and my head is spinning. damn crowded. haha. anyway, its nice going back to school. didnt stay there for long. went to esplanade with syg after that. we ate satay and had a good time talking. i think we are both glad that nothing happened. haha. but yep, its great.
in the afternoon, brought my sister to imm to greet 'Over the Hedge' characters. took photos and i felt out of place cos there were so many kids and im like 21 this year! haha. but whatever, i had fun. reached home and watched a vcd. fell asleep after that. haha.
so, i just finished watching the first episode of singapore idol and i must say i had a good laugh. hahahaha. weird people. but hey, as long as they are happy, its fine i guess. will stop here for now. when the ideas flow i will write. haha. |
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| her teardrops...9:43 PM |
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so today i had a super long day... in the morning went out to meet the girls for soccer training. it was super fun and super tiring. its been a long time since i sweat buckets. and i couldnt last man. stamina is really damn low. haha. hey, been quite some time since i went for any kind of physical training... but i had fun and i have a bruise on my leg and a cut on my elbow. damn fierce right?! haha... so painful but i will survive. hehe. so tiring. really tiring. after training we decided to go out for lunch and the whole lot of us eat mee soto. its cheap seh. $2. and it was not bad. worth my $2. haha.
well, reached home at about 5.45. talked to mum and watched tv for awhile. then syg called. we decided to meet up for awhile. tired as i am, i still went to meet him. if i can play soccer for 4 hours, whats another 3 hours meeting him right? selagi boleh jumpa lebih baik jumpa. hehe. reached home on time to catch csi. i simply love it. the investigations are so intense. haha. its a damn cool show man...
im tired actually. i want to sleep. but the weather is kind of hot. and the fan not really working well. i ctually did went to my room to sleep but i couldnt due to the weather or is it just me?! i have no idea. so since i couldnt sleep i decided to blog this entry. after this will surf the net for awhile and when the eyes finally feel like closing, i will be off back to bed... hehe.
im tired. really tired. penat seh. haha... |
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| her teardrops...11:47 PM |
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so yesterday went out to meet syg. the day was a rollercoster lah. the beginning sucks but after that it all went well. funny funny. anyway, we went to watch poseidon. the ship movie lah. it was like titanic minus the love story. well, maybe im a sucker for love stories so ya, i prefer titanic so much more...
that time i watched titanic 3 times at the cinemas and countless of times on vcd. i still love the story and the whole "you jump, i jump." hahahahha... anyway, poseidon is more of all action and there is a spin-off of armageddon. the father sacrificing himself and letting his daughter and lover together. haha...
after watching the movie, we went to eat at kavana. first time there. not really nice but ok lah... then he wanted to take a taxi to caca's bday party. and the taxi driver dunno how to go there! so we were like huh?! the driver called his friend to ask for help and we finally got to the park. but he dropped us off at the wrong carpark. so we had to walk so far to get to the pit! haha. i was quite spooked actually. but he just said dun worry, im here. ya lah. hero per. haha...
so we reached the pit and had a great time mingling with my friends. im so glad it all went fine. haha. we left at abt 9 and on the way home we talked abt the morning incident. haha. and i also dunno how it happen lah. but all is fine and he said i must believe it. no point he the only one believing in it. so i told him, ok, i will believe. and its all because of you.
i think ah love is crazy lah. its irrational and make you do stupid things. but i guess this is the part where its fun and you go through periods of happiness and misery. so i guess we shuld just enjoy it and believe in it while we still can... hehe. so... "you jump, i jump k." hehe...  |
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| her teardrops...6:41 PM |
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i used to have a dream. i wanted to cycle all around the world. to cycle and have no worries, that was one of my dreams. i just wanted to keep on cycle and let myself feel the ongoing breeze. i hope one day i will have that chance but i doubt so lah considering my parents so worrying attitude. but i dont blame them. its ok. but if i have the chance to go on a cycling trip and my parents approve of it, i will defintily pack my bags and set off. haha...
anyway, i seem to be having a headache. dont know why seh... hope it will go off soon... |
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| her teardrops...8:02 PM |
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and it goes tick tock tick tock.
and it goes de dum de dum.
and it goes deg deg deg deg.
what's the it? |
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| her teardrops...8:01 PM |
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if it was a dream, i want to be in it forever.
but if its a dream, is it then just a figment of my imagination? |
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| her teardrops...10:30 PM |
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the truth hurts i guess. im hurt. im sad.
if i could swim through my heart to look for the answer, i would.
if i could dig my brains out for the answer, i would.
i try to forget and paste a happy smile. i try to pretend that im fine but i know deep down im not. im thinking hard. its too much. but for it, i have to go on. because of it im willing to push on. i could change but will i be happy then? i have to hold on because of it. i know it is still there. it has always been there and he says it will stay for a long long time. and im putting all my trust on him. if i were to get hurt, at least i know it was love that i had. |
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| her teardrops...11:35 PM |
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i just feel like rambling on. so here i go...
no one says its going to be easy. you already knew it. and you still went for it. it was a gamble right from the start. and the gamble seems pretty fine except for the hiccups. there will always be hiccups here and there. thats what it is about.
are you happy?
i will be lying if i say im happy. when i think of the misunderstandings and the fights, of course im not happy. but when i think of what it has given me, im so thankful. i have always pride on the fact that, i am contented. i am really. so far i have got what i wanted. there is really nothing more that i want. the happy moments is much more than the unhappy ones. i treasure those momentsjust like you do. im happy if you are happy.
if you love someone you accept everything about that someone.
no one is perfect. everyone is different. its hard to find someone whom can understand you. no matter how that someone understand you, it can never be completely understand because that someone is not you. only you can understand yourself. so i cannot ask him to understand me completly cos i cannot understand him completely. but i am willing to try understand you just like you understand me. i am willing to accept you just like you accept me.
we must be patient. but what if it runs out? love will not let it happen.
when we disagree we step back and see the situation. sometime im right. sometime you'r right. we must be patient. if it runs out, you say love will not let it happen. i believe you. love will not let it happen. we will not let it happen.
no matter what i still love you.
i do too. |
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| her teardrops...11:51 PM |
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yesterday i went to johor again... haha. this time it was to make my many pairs of baju jurong for the coming hari raya. still early right?! but my mother being a mother is super kiasu. haha. but she has her point lah. she worried later the bajus wont be ready on time. so there we were with my aunts and cousins in 3 cars.
after going to the tailor, we went to the new shopping centre in johor. its called Tebrau City. i think the spelling like that lah. the shopping centre was like super super big ah. so many shops. but then they were all expensive cos the shops there sold the branded stuffs. the real ones. haha. and yours truly here is broke so cant shop that much but i did bought a black top. i think it looks sexy. haha. ya, when i wear not sexy already lah...
im pretty much enjoying my break so far. did nothing except sleep, eat, and going out with my parents. tomorrow im meeting syg. cant wait to spend the day with him... been quite some time since i spend the day with him. stupid exams and stupid ns. haha. but no worries. im used to it.
im actually waiting to watch the man u match against charlton. its being delayed. but heard that man u is 3 goals up. hehehehehe. we will clinch 2nd spot! and next season we are gonna be back and be champions. haha.
ok lah. will stop here. and here's a picture of my family. haha.
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| her teardrops...11:35 PM |
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ITS OVER!!!
NO MORE EXAMS!!!
YIPPIE! HOORAY!
the exams are finally over and done with. no more school. no more books for the next 3 months. oh yesh! its time for me to have a good rest. a super duper good rest. |
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| her teardrops...8:27 PM |
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