my open tears

sometimes what we wish for
is beyond our reach..
thats why they are called wishes...
but i believe that
life is full of hopes
i have to hold on to them
so that i can move on
the road ahead is a long one

have faith, you.

goodbye 2006

Saturday, December 30, 2006

i guess this will be my last entry for 2006... hehe. its kinda fast when you come to think how 12 months have passed by without you realising.. and i guess its always good to reflect and think about what has happened in the past 12 months..

this year like any other years is always an eventful one.. but nothing special really happened except for the fact that i have finally turned 21 years old.. haha. in all aspects i must say everything is going on well.. no major hiccups.

my family is still pretty much the same.. everyone is happy and the fights or quarrels are lesser now. even if there are, its normal i guess.. im cool with things at home.. its the same. nothing much to say.. mum and dad are pretty much the same.. bro has a job for now.. haha. i know he is working hard to get a satble job and i wish him the best in the coming year. hopefully, he'll get a good job soon.. ika's been doing well in school and im glad for her.. she is still young so no point in pushing her.. if she's doing fine, then its fine..

school has been... school. haha. just fiished my 2nd year 1st semester.. well, 3 semesters have passed by and there are 3 more left to go before my uni life is over.. results have pretty much been ok.. im happy with the grades i've got. nothing to boast about.. pretty average but average is fine with me.. im never one who goes for grades anyway.. good grades are just a bonus. there's more to life then grades.. so..school is fine. stress here and there but its normal.. i have lived with pressure for 15 years..whats another 3 more semesters.. hehe. when the new semester comes, it will be harder but i'll get through it somehow.. haha..

this year, i had fun playing soccer during the holidays with my friends.. took part in competitions and although we lost, its the fun that matters.. hehe. and im glad that my friends are still the same. speaking of friends.. i do have lots of friends but the ones im in touch with are pretty small. but its of no problem.. as long as everyone is happy, im happy.. haha. its been nice having friends to help you and share your boredom in school.. haha. i hope for a better year ahead for you guys too..

i turned 21 like i said.. well, so 21 has been 21. haha. its nice to hit that age but i think as you grow older, your responsibility increases.. and you have more things to worry about.. but life's full of worries..i'll get through it. take one step at a time i guess..

im still pretty much happy with him. quarrels and misunderstandings are normal.. and this year i realise we fought a lot.. haha. but im taking it as a positive sign.. we are beginning to understand each other better i guess.. there's a whole long way ahead for us.. and im just taking it as it comes.. one step at a time..

so i guess 2006 has been pretty much a normal year.. no major hiccups. the same. and i think its good.. actually, im afraid of changes.. haha. if its a good change then by all means, please change but if its not then i rather it stays the same and not change. im afraid of losing the people around me.. i dont know how it feels but im sure it wouldnt feel good. i hope that my loved ones will stay the same and be healthy..be happy..be cool.

im not hoping for any miracles to happen in my life next year.. not that i need any. like i said, im pretty contented with what i have around me.. i just want my loved ones to be happy and healthy. so to a good 2007 ahead..

tomorrow is hari raya haji.. another holiday. what a way to welcome the new year.. i smell food. haha. have been heling my mum cooked and cleaned the house.. hehe. and everytime i clean my room, memories come..as always.. haha. wont be updating tomorrow..going visiting a bit. so this i guess will be last entry for 2006...

okies.. have a good year ahead all of you.. may the year be a good one for all of us...and also.. slamat hari raya aidilhadha.. will leave you guys with a picture of yours truly...

her teardrops...3:00 PM

i no longer know

Friday, December 29, 2006

my 200th entry.. haha. this is not the kind of entry i want for my 200th. but if its like that, its like that...

there is something wrong.. and i dont know what to do.. i dont feel like doing anything. i just want to sit around.. but i have been sitting around since i got back from kl.. haven been going out or spending time outside.. have basically been doing nothing and just sitting at home.. maybe its what twin says..its the holidays and i have been activitaing my weird thoughts.. sometimes i wonder if i do think too much.. but if we dont think, we wouldnt know then that what is happening or what we are doing is right or wrong..

i dont know.. i just feel that there is something wrong. i dont deny that i was abit harsh but why cant you see why i was like that in the first place.. you want the old one? thats the thing.. you cant cope if i change.. you dont want me to change? maybe i didnt change.. maybe i have been like this..its just that you dont know.. you dont see.. you dont realise.. you said i think too much. thats the problem.. i think. you dont think. i dont know.. im at a lost.. maybe its true i think too much. i dont even know what im thinking.. maybe i feel insecure.. maybe i feel out of place. you said dont be sad.. ok, so you want me to be happy when there is something wrong? i dont know. i really dont know..

i no longer know what i feel. i no longer know what you feel. i no longer know what i want. i know longer know what you want. see.. i no longer know.. and so if its like that, then its like that.. like i said, i no longer know.. well, at least for now..maybe it will change. maybe it wont change. we'll see...

her teardrops...11:30 PM

love actually

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

ok people...

i got my results!!! hahaha.. so what can i say.. hhhmmm.. better than what i was expecting.. i was expecting Cs ok.. but i got all Bs.. hehe. so im pretty happy. jannah.. u still want ur treat? hahahaha.. we'll meet up one day k and i will still treat u lah eventhough i got Bs and not As.. haha. so set a date and we'll meet up..

so enough about exams.. lets talk about love.. haha. ok..yesterday i watched love actually on ch5. and i like the movie.. different situations of people in love.. so what is love? love actually is? hahahaha.. i also dunno dah.. but i like the one where colin firth learned another language in order to win the heart of his housekeeper.. so romantic right.. hahaa.. and the saddest have to be the husband cheating on the wife.. wah lau.. haha.. and also the one where the guy is in love with his best friend wife.. so the sa.. but i guess love is like that..

so here is what i think love is.. haha

a. love is crazy.. makes u do stupid things.. makes u do everything and anything to make the relationship work.

b. love is bittersweet.. it is bitter when you argues and have misunderstandings.. but it is sweet when you are happy and everything is going on smoothly..

c. love is about sacrifices and changes.. when u feel that ur partner is unhappy about certain things that you do, you change your attitude to suit your partner..

ok.. so i dunno what else love is.. haiya.. i think right love is so complicated lah.. that one lah. this one lah. so.. dun care lah eh what love is.. i know.. LOVE IS LOVE. Muahhahahahahahahah... anyway, spread the love people.. hahahaha...

LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE... hahahahahahahhaahha....

her teardrops...6:00 PM

im back!!!

Monday, December 25, 2006

hola.. im back!!! hahaha... and im super the broke! no more money.. anyone care to treat me??? hahaha.. i now understand the meaning of 'shop till you drop'... well, we really did shop till we drop.. drop= bankrupt.. hahaha.. ok.. so here's a summary of my trip.. cheh (summary, mcm skola lak) hahaha...

thursday, 21st dec
we arrived at genting at 5 am in the morning and had to sleep in the car till 7am before we can check into the hotel.. once we checked in, im like so sleepy seh.. didnt sleep cos had to accompany dad while he drove.. so we slept till 12pm like that and get ready to go out.. genting was like super cold ah.. freezing and it was raining.. rain so we cant go to the outdoor theme park.. and ika sad.. but we went to the indoor theme park and there were like so many people ah.. the queue for the rides damn long.. haha.. but no choice had to queue .. took a total of 5 rides.. the ferris wheel, merry go round and so on.. well, had a lot of fun .. after spending the afternoon there we went for dinner.. buffet! haha.. a lot of changes to genting.. more rides and shops.. haha.. but i didnt buy anything.. saving for kl shopping.. haha.. crazy.

haha.. the get up.. crazy me..

we took this.. super slow.. haha.. but hey, relaxing. haha..

ika..on the merry go round.. the horse.. and i took it too. nasib baik tak pecah.. haha.

friday, 22nd dec
kl here we come.. hahaa.. first stop was masjid india.. this is where mum went crazy buying kain baju for the next raya.. very express right my mum? haha.. raya just finish and she already buying for the next coming year.. haha.. so we spent the afternoon there.. by the way, next year we are wearing light purple! haha.. ok. crazy. so after buying the kains, we went to petaling street.. my first visit there.. and the things ok lah.. not that expensive but not cheap either.. and our hotel near petaling street so its quite easy to go.. ate dinner at kenny rodgers.. i love teh chicken dah.. haha.. and i went to sogo to get syg's bday present.. woo hoo.. haha..cant tell what it is.. later k.. haha.

action take only.. haha.

dearest mum.. hehe

saturday, 23rd dec
so this is the day where the real shopping for stuffs begin.. haha.. our first stop was mines wonderland.. we reached there at 10 am and realised that it was close! haha.. not yet open dah.. it opened at 5pm.. cos of the lights show and so on... bodoh kan.. haha.. anyway, we decided to go sungai wang plaza and come back at 5pm.. the whole day, we got lost on the roads.. what was supposed to be a 15min drive became a one and a half hour drive! the roads horrible dah.. haha. so at the shopping centre, i bought 2 pairs of pump shoes.. have been looking for new shoes cos my old shoes cannot make it lah.. haha.. and i bought 2 tops too and a new belt.. haha. bankrupt.. haha.

anyway, we went back to mines at 530pm.. and there were a lot of people.. not as crowded as i expected but its cool.. we took almost all the rides.. the vintage car, the tram, the train.. and we took the water taxi twice! haha.. and dad won soft toys for ika at the games stall.. funny dah.. well, ika was super happy.. haha. and the view while we took the water taxi was so nice..the lake quite big actually and from far we can see the lights up.. and we managed to catch the musical fountain show.. beautiful.. by the time we leave there it was about 9pm and we headed back to the hotel.. decided to drop by petaling street to buy shirts for brother and syg too.. and i also bought a new adidas jacket.. haha. ok, its fake but dun care.. haha. i like the material and its brown.. i seem to like brown nowadays.. haha. i guess my orange tingy have to take a backseat for now.. haha.. we bought macdonalds for supper and headed back to the hotel.. super tired. haha..

at the hotel reception.. sempat amik gamabar. haha..

breakfast at the hotel..

haha.. part time satay seller. haha.. the tempat bakar damn big k. haha.

the coin land..

on the water taxi.. cool ah the ride..

the vintage car.. another slow ride. haha.

in the ice factory.. the ice figures damn nice.. haha. cold.. brrr.. haha.

so cute lah.. hehe.

ika with the santa clause.. join in the mood. haha.

sunday, 24th dec
heading back to singapore.. hehe. before that we went to melaka for awhile.. to get some stuffs for mum's friends.. and then we headed to johor.. stopped by angsana to buy some more food goodies.. and i bought a bag.. haha.. see, told you i went crazy shopping.. and now im super the broke.. haha.. reached home at 830pm.. and yesh.. home sweet home.. haha.

haha.. the swing..

so today is christmas.. Merry Christmas people.. though i dont celebrate, its always nice to join in the mood.. hehe. and i met syg in the morning to pass the clothes and things i bought for him.. nice to see him again.. haha. just 4 days. haha. he was like ya, you're finally back.. of course im back. haha.. going to have a good rest later before cleaning up the house.. hari raya haji coming.. hehe.. another holiday. haha. so i'll stop here for now.. till tomorrow.. and im broke.. haha.

her teardrops...2:00 PM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

woo hoo...finally there's a bit of sunshine.. its been raining like crazy the past few days.. not stopping at all even for just a moment.. haha.. but hey, its nice to see the rain.. just like its nice to see sunshine... realised that its been raining since sunday.. which means that its been raining for 3 whole days.. no more rain today but it might just rain later on.. hehe.

hhmmm...the cut on my leg is healing.. although i will be in pain when it is accidentally touched. haha. but will be fine. mcm tak biaser.. haha.. anyway, will be meeting him awhile tonight to get my camera back.. and after that i will be off to kl.. just a short trip.. im excited but not that excited.. haha. i guess im just using it to get some time off from singapore.. holiday. haha. a short one.. so wont be updating for the next few days.. will be back soon...

her teardrops...3:26 PM

ouch!

Monday, December 18, 2006

ouch! ouch! ouch!

thats what i have been saying for the past few hours.. haha.. well, had to go to the library to return books and also to collect my blouse at imm just now.. so, went out with ika and i couldnt really walk properly because of the 'gift' that i got yesterday.. haha.. and im still sufferring from sentosa hangover.. i haven had so much fun since dunno when lah eh.. i think because i tried a lot of things and been to places which i havent been to before.. entah eh.. i think im the kind of person who just go to experience things and like to visits these attractions.. just to get a feel of it.. and i sure did visited and tried lots of things yesterday.. and whenever i say 'ouch', im reminded of the fall.. haha..

he was like messaging me every hour to ask if the leg was fine.. haha. so the sweet. haha.. im fine lah. just a fall. mcm tak biasa. haha.. but then again, this time the fall was really bad seh.. i dunno how come my leg got stuck inside the drain.. and i couldnt get up because the drain cover was pinning my leg down.. eh, lucky my jeans did not tear. haha.. i thought no cut or bruise but when i rolled my jeans to see it, i was like.. ok, there's blood and it looks bad.. haha.. oh well, its ok.. i just have to be extra careful while walking these few days..

okies..i feel like watching tv now. haha.. see, continuing my slacking. i better slack now later school starts, no slacking.. but then again, school also i slack.. haha.. whatever lah eh.. hehe.

her teardrops...4:35 PM

sentosa date. finally. haha.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

hehe.. just got back home from the sentosa date with syg.. i must say i reali enjoyed myself seh.. and i even brought a 'gift' back home.. haha..

so the first stop was the luge and skyride.. he had already taken a luge ride before at new zealand while it was my first time.. and i tell you..its like super duper the fun ah.. must try ok if you all have the chance.. a lot of changes in sentosa actually..the last time i went there were no luge or all the other things.. anyway, when we had to take the skyride back, he was like scared ah.. his fear of heights ah.. and apalagi..i also scared ah.. but we kept calm and i tried to take his mind of the heights by talking about the view lah..the nenek which i raced with at the luge just now and so on.. once we reached, he was all smiles and still have the cheek to say, "eh, finish already.." hahaha.. action only..

by the time we finish the skyride, the rain started to drizzle.. but we were determine not to let the rain spoil our mood and continue our sentosa adventure.. haha.. so the next stop was the underwater world.. to our suprise, there was actually a discount.. they were having a promotion and we got $6 each off our admission.. hehe. so the happy.. and i was like so amazed by the fishes there ah.. there was this super big shark..ok, not that big. not that super. but ya lah..you get it.. and there were like so many kinds of crabs! haha.. and im like thinking i cant believe there's so many kinds of fishes, crabs and what have you ah..

so..this is the part where i get my 'gift'... we wanted to catch the bus to go to the dolphin lagoon.. it was included in our underwater world tickets.. so we ran.. and... i FALL! yes, yours truly fell into a drain and her leg got stuck in the drain.. the look on syg's face was like white ah.. he was super worried.. and i.. nearly cried.. haha. it was damn painful and with the blood and all.. haha. so..i couldnt walk properly.. and syg was like ok, lets go to the beach and rest.. we sat at siloso and talk.. he was trying to get my mind off the pain and he managed lah.. abit. haha. and we saw couples in wedding suits.. taking pictures.. so the sweet. i have decided. i also want to take wedding pictures there lah. haha. ok. crazy. anyway, syg wanted to take me home, but i refuse.. i still want to go to cinemania you see.. and i can walk.. just that i was limping.. haha.. stubborn me insisted. so he had no choice..

after resting for about 1 and a half hours, we decided to go to the dolphin lagoon but we got lost.. haha.. and i was like, ok.. nevermind. lets just head to cinemania.. anyway, we had already missed the dolphin feeding session and that by this time the rain was beginning to come down quite hard.. so off we went to cinemania.. i was kind of disappointed. it was not as exciting as i expected it to be.. a waste of money. haha. but hey, in the name of fun.. and we were like walking in the rain..and i was still limping.. haha..

at about 5pm we took the cable car back.. this one syg not scared. he said his legs were not dangling and that it was a closed area so he not scared.. mcm2 dah.. haha. in the cable car we like saw the cruise ships.. and he was like i bring you take k.. and i said, ya right.. haha.. it was still raining and so we decided to go vivocity to eat.. burger king! haha.. been awhile since i ate burger king.. after eating, it was not raining anymore.. so i wanted to take a picture outside.. and we went out and saw sentosa again..and we laughed.. haha.. next time we want to take the luge again.. and i want to go up the carlsberg skytower.. haha..

so the gerek.. i had lots of fun and he was like sad when we got home..cos i will be going to kl for a short trip on wednesday.. 4 days only.. can lah.. haha.. and when i got home, talked to mum.. told her about our sentosa day.. and she saw the 'gift'.. haha. she was like, you know lah eh.. and the bruise is now swollen and the cut like bigger.. so the painful.. and when i bath, i was like dancing. haha.. nevermind, i'll keep it as a memory. haha..

ok..so the tired now.. but i want to watch the man u match later.. haha. nothing can take me off my soccer.. hehe. till my next entry.. pictures we took.. loads of fun.. still have a lot but will take a long time to post.. haha. so this is all for now.. haha.

woo hoo.. all set to go!

the racing couple.. haha.

the skyride.. haha. scared but still want to take picture. haha.

while waiting for the bus..

hehe.. the underwater world.. finally.. haha.

ok.. im crazy.. hehe.

one of the kind of crabs we saw.. cute right?!

after i fall, haha.. had to rest at siloso.. haha.

in the cable car.. woo hoo. so the cool. beautiful..

at vivocity.. all set to go home afer this. haha.

the numerous tickets i had to hold on too.. haha..

her teardrops...10:45 PM

just another day at the playground

Friday, December 15, 2006

so today was just another day at the playground with the kids.. im beginning to feel like im a fulltime babysitter seh.. haha.. well, its not that difficult anyway. just sit and watch them play.. laugh when they do stupid things and get worried when one of them falls.. your heart will stop for a beat and they get up and show their toothless grin.. "hehe.. im ok". ya..they better be ok if not im the one who will not be ok. haha..

im actually now feeling a bit sick.. im having a bad stomachache. i think its the chicken that i ate in the afternoon. had lunch with my parents at the coffeeshop and i ordered chicken cutlet.. when i first ate it i thought it tasted sour2. but i thought its just my tongue. after eacting like half of it, i was like ok.. so i asked mum and dad to taste it, they said the chicken is bad.. which means.. im like so going to the toilet.. and now im starting to feel the pain.. haiya.. its so spoiling my mood.. i hope the stomachache goes of.. i have a sentosa date with syg on sunday...

okies..im stopping here. pictures at the playground..

the playground.. seems empty right? they played hide and seek. leaving me alone with the drinks.. haha.

the youngest one.. driving me crazy.. haha.

the kids..

her teardrops...6:45 PM

slacking

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

hhhmmmm...i have been doing nothing these days. have been slacking at home. im not complaining though.. hehe.. i needed the slacking anyway..its been a hectic semester.. actually, every semester is hectic. haha. have been watching lots of tv and going to the playground.. eh, i dont play around k. i sit and watch over my sister and my neighbour kids.. i feel like a babysitter. haha. hhmm... im actually quite bothered by some things but i know i cannot do anything about it. so be it then.. just take one step at a time and pretend that nothing happen.. yep.. ok.. im going to continue slacking for now.. meeting syg later. i want to eat mcdonalds. haha.

her teardrops...2:10 PM

my way

Monday, December 11, 2006

sometimes i just dont understand what more they want me to do.. i have tried my very best.. even if its serious it cannot be proven.. i thought you all understand but i guess you all dont.. stop telling me between the lines.. tell me straight.. im at a lost. im pissed cos i dont know what else i should do.. i thought everything is going on well.. i thought everything is ok. i guess im wrong. im sick of it.. i dont know already.. stop pressurising me.. i need a breather. what more do you guys want from me? what more? im at a loss lah..

i guess there is no point in thinking about something which has no solution for now.. there is a solution but i wont use it cos its crazy. totally crazy. so i guess thats it. i will just pretend nothing happend and continue thinking it in my way.. yep. my way...

her teardrops...3:00 PM

im so loving my lepak session..

Sunday, December 10, 2006

hehe.. man u won yesterday.. im so the very happy.. and i cant wait for the chelsea-arsenal match tonight.. im hoping for arsenal to win..only because i want chelsea to lose.. haha.. its so going to be a good thing if arsenal were to win.. hehe..

hhmm..so far its been a good rest at home.. have been bringing my sister to the playground.. bringing my mum out.. and yesterday was on the way to imm when i met jannah and... (hehehe) i wont say much. haha.. anyway, went to imm to send my top for alteration.. the top big lah.. so i wanted to make it smaller.. will have to collect soon.. and i also bought that adidas sling bag.. (jannah, we have the same bag!) hahaha.. but i couldnt get the colour that i wanted which was green so i had to settle for white cream... haha.. its so going to be dirty seh.. haha.. and i also finally bought that princess hours dvd for my sister.. im broke.. what's new right.. im always broke.. haha.. but its ok.. money can save again.. ya.. haha..

im waiting for syg to come back.. he msg me yesterday night saying he will be back tonight.. he is going to be damn tired.. tomorrow he has to go back to camp.. hope he doesnt fall sick.. ok, will stop here for now.. want to watch tv and continue my lepak session.. im so loving my lepak session.. haha..

her teardrops...12:00 PM

happy.. muahahhahaha

Thursday, December 07, 2006

hehehhehehe...
muahahhahahahaha....
hahhahahahahahhahahahah...

im like feeling so the happy lah.. my exams are finally over.. and i can enjoy my break and spend time doing whatever i want.. haha.. its like the burden is finally over..ok over at least for 5 months to come..but whatever..im so enjoying my break for now..

and.. he is back. hehe.. met him just now after my last paper.. he was telling me lah that he has grown darker and told me to be mentally prepared.. so i was expecting this dark guy.. but when i finally saw him.. the first thing that came to my mind wasnt that he grew dark but that he suddenly look old..ok..mature. haiya.. i dunno. and he look tired seh.. but to my amazement he wasnt tired at all.. he talked like non stop.. told me what he did and the adventures he had there. hahaha.. im just so relieve that he is back safely. looking at him just now makes me wonder a lot of things.. haha..

and dearest him bought me a kangaroo soft toy.. i was expecting a keychain lah when he told me over the phone.. but when i saw it, i was like, eh why the keychain so big?! but of course, its not a keychain.. its a kangaroo soft toy with boxers gloves.. and i told him, if im angry with him, i will box the kangaroo.. hahahaha.. he has one too but he cannot box it. hahaha. he can only sayang it.. hahahaha.. ok, im crapping. i think im too happy. i need to cool down..

wont be seeing him the next few days actually.. he has to go back to kl.. haha. his cousin getting married so he has to go back.. funny eh. just come back now go again.. but im actually worried that he will fall sick.. he already looks half dead seh.. oh well, just hopw he will be fine i guess..

ok..i think i better stop now and take a breather.. too happy. hahahaha.. some pictures we took..

the kangaroo soft toy.. "MINI-GHAZ" muahahahahahah

me and MINI-GHAZ...

how can i not take a picture of us.. hahaha..

her teardrops...11:45 PM

last day! humans...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

ok..this is the next entry of my outburst on humans.. i rarely have this kind of outburst. haha. and the fact that im having one now means im totally disturbed abt it. ok so, just now i went to mac to pass time before fetching my sister from her religious class.. i sat there and i observe some things that i felt is ridiculous and utter rubbish..

dont ever be arrogant.. doesnt mean that you are with a group of friends it gives you the power to act like you own the place. and dont go around giving people that f***up face. have some respect and hello, you are in a public place.. whats up with kids nowadays.. ok, i was a kid once and i may be called a slenger and goody two shoes or whatever but at least i know whats the meaning of respectful behaviour.. that kind if behaviour will only lead you to a shithole place.. or maybe you do belong there.. whatever seh. total rubbish!

and with the recent news of people jumping down the mrt tracks.. eh, fun is it?! you face a problem and you commit suicide? you think what, people going to give you money? dont go wasting your life.. tak sayang nyawa langsung eh?! see..the sad situation of humans nowadays.. some people are fighting for their lives in the hospitals and at home.. and there you are wasting your life.. like hello?! might as well give your time to people who wants to live right. i just dont understand.. crazy and ridiculous people.. think of your loved ones first.. whenever you do something, think people. think. im not a saint. i made lots of mistakes in the course of my life. and i dont want to die yet cos i have so many things to do and to change myself. no matter how hard life is, im sure there's a way out.

haiya.. i dunno lah.. im not worked up actually. im just sad at the way life is.. there is so much more in life than going after grades, trying to act like you own the place, giving people that shitass face. you got a life, treasure it. its never too late to change yourself and turn over a new leaf. i know saying is easy and the truth is life is hard.. but dont give up. you never know. there maybe that glimmer of hope somewhere. when its time to go, im sure you will go. i dont understand and i think i never will. humans are complex beings... just like you and me.

ok.. i feel so much better now that i have said my piece... haha. crazy me. ok..hehehehhe.. my exams will be over by 11 am tomorrow.. hehe.. no more exams at least for the next 4-5 months.. i cant wait to enjoy my break.. i need a rest dah.. my mind like whirling.. and also right.. tomorrow someone will be back already.. hehe.. so its a double celebration tomorrow.. no exams and he is back! once the paper is over i can meet him and enjoy already. hehe. so many things to tell him seh.. and i know he has lots of things to tell me.. haha. cant wait for tomorrow.. counting down the hours.. haha.. alright, will stop here.. till my next outburst of humans.. haha.

her teardrops...8:00 PM

day 13. i wanna...

Sunday, December 03, 2006

took this picture from my house balcony window.. was taking a break from studying and decide to rest my eyes by looking outside and took this picture. it looks quite serene and very peaceful.. nothing much happened except for the frequent sound of cars driving past.. my house is right at the end and we can see the PIE outside.. so at times it can be quite noisy but i guess having lived here for almost 8 years make me kind of used to it.. haha.. im feeling quite tired. i think the mental exhuastion is reaching the limit but i must persevere. two more papers and thats it..well at least for this sem. haha.

syg called in the afternoon.. he said he cant wait to come back.. haha. tu lah..saper suruh gi. hehe. told him that he will have to endure another 3 days.. then he will be back and we can meet. cant wait for him to be back.. want to hear all the things he did there and what kind of place wallaby is.. he said its hot in the day. even hotter then singapore.. and he told me to be mentally prepared that he has grown darker! haha.. and im like put more powder ok when we meet. haha.. he made like so many plans ah.. go here. go there. and im like ya, like real.. later something will crop up and there goes the plans.. haha. we'll see ok. hehe.

all that is in my mind is just to get these exams over and done with and then enjoy my one month break.. i wanna go shopping. i wanna go for a holiday. i wanna spend time with syg. i wanna do so many things lah.. hahahahhahaa...

her teardrops...9:12 PM

day 12. emotion crap.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

so..im now at jurong east library.. have been here since 11am.. had to discipline myself to start studying emotions.. crap. this module is so full of crap that i dont know what to say.. haha. half the time im clueless during the lectures.. the paper is so going to be full of nonscence seh.. i hope the questions are not greek to me.. at least let me write some stuff.. if not im so dead.. anyway, manage to get some studying done just now.. and i think the limit has reached.. nothing seem to enter my brain already.. so here i am writing an entry.. haha. its been a good day actually.. quite peaceful and no one disturbed me.. which is good. haha.

going to go home soon and get some rest before starting to read again.. haiya.. so many things to read.. if i understand nevermind.. haha. crap lah. and i feel like my exams are already over when i still have two more papers to go.. hhmm. cant wait to watch the man u game later on. haha. im already thinking of watching soccer.. and i feel like drinking bubble tea... ok, will get it on the way home.. thats it for now..

her teardrops...4:48 PM

day 11. 2 more papers to go...

Friday, December 01, 2006

beautiful isn't it?

as i was walking back home from the bus stop, the wind was light and it felt so peaceful seh. like so calm and the feeling is so comforting.. so i stopped and looked up in the sky..and i took this picture of the sky.. its been rainy these days. and sometimes it feels cold that all you want to do is sleep.. hehe. but then there's so many things to do..

hhmm.. had my second paper just now.. i think i can do it. i think only lah..full of nonscence but i think i might be able to pass it. and thats enough for me lah.. yesterday's paper was horrible seh... half the time i dont even know what im writing.. haiya.. such a letdown. but then i did my best and no point thinking about it.. i just cant wait for the exams to be over.. 2 more papers and that's it! then i will be able to enjoy my 1 month break... ooo yesh.. the thought of it makes me smile..

still have 2 more papers to go.. and the next paper is on emotions.. and i dont even know a thing about it.. i guess i will just have to write.. "it's just emotions taking me over.." all over the answer booklet.. hahaha.. that destiny child song.. crazy dah.. will really have to get some of the emotion readings done.. but im so not in the mood for it seh.. haha. i just feel like sleeping now.. haha.. ok then.. will stop here. going to get some rest down. my mind is exhausted from all that writing.. tomorrow will be a brand new day and will have to start reading.. so not a nice thought... haha.

her teardrops...6:37 PM